4 Best Practices for Couples over 50 and Married 20 Years to Manage Money, Family, Health and the Future

Oscar and Bonnie Crawford

Couples over 50 married more than 20 years think about money, family, health, and the future.  Aging prompts urgency in an era of uncertainty.  Couples who have sown together and grown together are not immune.  Human life has no guarantees at any age or stage.  We do the best with what we have to work with and hope for the best.  Here are some things we can do.

An important thing couples can do at any time is affirm each other.  Let each other know the security of continued commitment to each other.  Affirm to each other what your love accomplished.  Affirm your excitement and enthusiasm to continue sharing love and life.  Feel the full impact of your feelings for each other.

Money

Many couples have not managed well together because they could not manage having enough or not having enough money.  Many couples harbor a secret fear of being only one catastrophe away from financial ruin.

Identify your individual and shared fears.  Ask the tough questions.  What happens should you lose everything?  How would you manage life - threatening illness?  How would you survive the other’s death?  One of you will likely survive the other.  Money matters.  Design a plan you can agree on.

Family

You adore your grandchildren.  You do not want to raise them.  Some children assume their near retirement parents are their built in child care. 

Make sure you negotiate an understanding here or your grandchildren can be used to manipulate you into feeling guilty.  Do not let it happen.  You have raised your children.  Your job is to spoil your grandchildren occasionally.  It is not your job to raise your children’s children to make life convenient for them.  You paid your dues.  Now they pay theirs.  Their children are theirs.

Health

Good health is not a constitutional privilege.  Good health is the new sexy and most of us want to feel that as we mature.  Couples over 50 and married more than 20 years must work very hard to live in and maintain good health.

 

One or both of you may develop chronic conditions over time.  That is life in the fast lane.  There is no avoiding it. 

We do not have to surrender.  We can continue to have medical observation, annual evaluation and personal plans to stay strong for as long as possible.

The Future

Futures unplanned for arrive too soon.  Futures well planned come with no guarantees.  The future comes with every breath.  Work on ways to enjoy it, together.

If possible, do some of the things you never had time to do.  Visit another country.  Take music or art lessons.  Write a book.  Make a movie.  Do whatever you want that is manageable for you and makes you feel good about your individual and couple self.

Keep up the love.  Keep on living.  What you still sow together, you still grow together.

Couples Over 50 Together More Than 20 Years

From the Day After We Married December 29, 1989
to Renewing Our Vows 1999 to Still Loving Each Other Christmas 2012

This blog from Oscar Crawford Media will explore the lives of couples over 50 who have been together more than 20 years.  Is this the time your children are gone and you can further explore your relationship?  Is this the time to do the things you have been wanting to but resources had to go for other things?  Is this the time fall in love all over again?

What is working in your 20 plus years of connection now that you are over age 50?  How do you continue to give and add value to your relationship? 

How do you make sure you show love to the love of your life?  What do you do when you see signs your relationship is in trouble?  Is your love life history or making history?  How do you remain exciting and desirable?  How do you give to your love after all the yeas in ways he or she can feel good and smile about? 

What have been the challenges to your relationship over the years?  What were the toughest things about raising children?  How has money affected or factored into your relationship?  Has there been a spiritual component to your relationship? 

Have you dealt with crisis or chronic illnesses or conditions?  Have you had to deal with and work through addiction, adultery, or legal issues?  What has been the single most significant factor in your love standing the test of time?  What has made your relationship work? 

How do you think of your relationship now?  What do you expect of your loved one after all this time?

Meet here weekly to share ideas.  Learn what others 50 and older together more than 20 years say and think about how we live together and love together.  What you bring to share may just be what someone or couple needs to make a positive quality difference in their relationship. 

If you are ready to feel good about doing good share your thoughts here.  Invite others to do the same.  If we are not careful we just might learn something and grow from what we learn.  Share your thoughts through comments or directly through email.

Together, We Build Relationships That Work!

                                    (C) 2013 Oscar Crawford Media